Beauty in the Broken

I've been confined to my house the past three days due to the fact that I had my tonsils and adenoids removed. When I got the unexpected news on the eve of my 22nd birthday that I would need to have this procedure done, I really no idea what to expect from this whole experience.

The doctor gave me a laundry list of things to expect as a result of undergoing this procedure but now that I'm in the middle of it, I never would have expected what's happened to me thus far. These first couple of days since the surgery have been pretty rough. The swelling in my throat has made it painful and at times excruciating to swallow anything. I've been living on a diet of gatorade and water until today as I have graduated to jello.

There hasn't been a moment in my life before this experience that I've felt so hopeless and helpless. I know in comparison to the kind of pain and suffering that people endure daily, this is really nothing but for me, it has been quite the experience.

I've found myself asking the Lord why me and why now? The timing of it all seemed just so inconvenient for me. There were so many things on my list of things to do in the forseeable future that this just didn't fit into my plans. In the solitude and loneliness of my recovery, I've passed the thought that the Lord has taken away everything from me. Everything I do for work got taken away from me. Everything I like to do for fun got taken away from me. The things I like to eat got taken away from me. Who I am was taken away from me.

Here's the best thing about it though. As I've been stuck in the season of rest, the Lord has begun to speak words of life into me. I'm learning to discover who I really am in Christ. I've been discovering the beauty in the broken that in my weakness, the Lord is strong and that in my incompleteness, there can be peace. I'm learning to be still and rest, really rest...something I am not necessarily comfortable doing but that the Lord sees fit for my life right now.

I'm only three days in but this journey has been enlightening. I'm so excited to see what the Lord is going to do as I continue down this road of recovery both physically and spiritually.