Masterpiece

For the dreamers who are dreamless as they search for some direction
For the hopeful who are hopeless drowned in melancholy fields

Few and far between lay triumphs of such magnificent feat
If every little drummer boy marches to his own beat
How can someone find their way by marching to their song?
How will they ever know if what they're doing is wrong?

For if every person parted ways and marched to different beats
Harmony would never be resolved and there'd be no symphony

So who's to tell us "grab a drum and be on your merry way"
When everything inside our soul is screaming at us to stay

But then they say we are the hopeless, dreamless generation
We've yet to prove our doubters wrong and give our explanation
Of who we are and what we could be if we really dared to dream
And follow the hopes hidden inside us becoming one harmony

We can march to one drum and follow our hearts to the cadence of the beat
As we stomp out the fields and find our direction creating our own masterpiece

Move

I realize that some things are not made to be but my heart has these desires that seem right for me. Most often these aspirations aren’t what they seem and yet I believe them as if in stuck in some sort of dream. Feeding myself the lie I want to hear is leaving me with the empty feeling of pain and anguish and fear.

How do I move on from this disappointment when the world seems like it’s crumbling in my hand? I feel like I have so many more questions than answers and I’m struggling through this desert sand.

God, give me some guidance. Please show me where to go. In this time of suffering I ask your mercy will You show? Give me some direction and hold this blind man’s hand. All I need is to know You’re there. Please let me know I can.

This night it bites so cold and harsh. The weather changes so fast. And yet I know You will never leave or forsake me no matter what the circumstance. You’re bigger than the universe though it seems You’re much farther away. I’m searching for a light to see in this desolate place.

How do I move on when I can’t even see the sun? The dark is taking over and I’ve no strength left to run. But Lord Your loving-kindness has shown its favor on me. You never quit, You never stopped, You’ve never given up on me. You have given me guidance and showed me where to go. In my time of suffering, Your mercy have I known. You gave me direction and You held my weary hand. You let me know that You were there and showed me that I can.

For You are God Almighty, the Risen Lamb of God. Through you all things are possible for the children that You love. You have shown me mercy by sending Your only Son. I’m so thankful for Your sacrifice and I worship You alone. Now I move on and praise you for all You’ve done and will do. I find my strength in You alone my Rock and my Redeemer.

Amen.

Beauty in the Broken

I've been confined to my house the past three days due to the fact that I had my tonsils and adenoids removed. When I got the unexpected news on the eve of my 22nd birthday that I would need to have this procedure done, I really no idea what to expect from this whole experience.

The doctor gave me a laundry list of things to expect as a result of undergoing this procedure but now that I'm in the middle of it, I never would have expected what's happened to me thus far. These first couple of days since the surgery have been pretty rough. The swelling in my throat has made it painful and at times excruciating to swallow anything. I've been living on a diet of gatorade and water until today as I have graduated to jello.

There hasn't been a moment in my life before this experience that I've felt so hopeless and helpless. I know in comparison to the kind of pain and suffering that people endure daily, this is really nothing but for me, it has been quite the experience.

I've found myself asking the Lord why me and why now? The timing of it all seemed just so inconvenient for me. There were so many things on my list of things to do in the forseeable future that this just didn't fit into my plans. In the solitude and loneliness of my recovery, I've passed the thought that the Lord has taken away everything from me. Everything I do for work got taken away from me. Everything I like to do for fun got taken away from me. The things I like to eat got taken away from me. Who I am was taken away from me.

Here's the best thing about it though. As I've been stuck in the season of rest, the Lord has begun to speak words of life into me. I'm learning to discover who I really am in Christ. I've been discovering the beauty in the broken that in my weakness, the Lord is strong and that in my incompleteness, there can be peace. I'm learning to be still and rest, really rest...something I am not necessarily comfortable doing but that the Lord sees fit for my life right now.

I'm only three days in but this journey has been enlightening. I'm so excited to see what the Lord is going to do as I continue down this road of recovery both physically and spiritually.

Identity

This has been an interesting week for me and it feels like the Lord is trying to get my attention so He can show me something I've been praying to find. Recently I've been asking myself who I am. This is a standard question I'm sure we've all asked ourselves at one point in our lives. This questioned has vexed me because I can’t seem to identify myself beyond what my interests are and what I do for a living. Don’t get me wrong, who you are and who I am are somewhat about what we do and what we enjoy but the part of it that bothers me is that there must be more to it than that. Shouldn’t there? I love playing the guitar and I love singing. I love serving people and the church and seeing the Lord move through what He allows my hands to do. That is who I think, or should I say thought, I was.

And so that brings me to the point of this interesting week I’ve found myself living. On Sunday, while doing my job, I sliced my index and middle fingers on the hand I use to make chords on my guitar. Since then, I have been unable to play music on my guitar and to be honest, that’s been hard. Little did I know that it was only the beginning of God’s plan for this season of my life. I went to see a Ear, Nose and Throat specialist on Tuesday morning to check out a problem I’ve been having in my right ear. In the process of diagnosing my issue, the doctor determined that I would need to undergo surgery to remove my tonsils and adenoids. I will be having the procedure done next Wednesday. I was also told it would take about a month for me to fully recover from the surgery and was also given a list of things I cannot do while recovering. The list my doctor proceeded to run down of “don’ts” turned out to be every aspect of what I do for my job. Throughout the afternoon I was thinking about this whole situation that so unexpectedly dropped on me and I asked God “why now?”

And the revelation hit me. While initially it seemed like the Lord was taking away everything that made me “who I am,” really, He was stripping away everything so that I can really find out who I am. With all of these things stripped away and a month of rest and Sabbath with the Lord, I can press into His spirit and discover who I am in Christ. Beyond what I do and what I enjoy, who I am in Christ is what is most important and I don’t think I ever would have gone searching for that willingly. So I’m entering this journey, this season, this chapter of my life. I can’t see how this could have gone any other way and I’m excited to travel this road with just Him and me.

Who am I? Who are you? Let's find out. He's wanting to show us.